Mike Schmidt Hates Cocaine

In my never-ending quest to document obscure television commercials, I analyze a forgotten Public Service Announcement by Mike Schmidt that I found on an old VHS tape.

The 1980’s in America were responsible for a number of things, both good and bad. While the good contributions are endless (i.e. Big League Chew), the bad contributions might be a little more important from a historical standpoint. AIDS, homelessness, & turmoil in the Middle East (all of which have since disappeared, needless to say) are some examples. But the one negative aspect that stands out the most in my mind is the American cocaine epidemic. Coke was spreading like wildfire in the U.S. Yuppies couldn’t get enough of the stuff, but that wasn’t really the big concern. Cocaine’s successor, crack, was exceptional in destroying the inner-cities. Kids were doing it in numbers, so parents started putting pressure on the federal government to start raising awareness. And so an anti-drug campaign complete with slogan (“Just Say No”) emerged.Subsequently, public service announcements started airing on television with the sole intent to scare the fucking shit out of kids. Here we see Philadelphia Phillies’ third baseman Mike Schmidt in 1986 explaining (rather intensely) how he doesn’t need coke to perform at the athletic level that he was known for. I think this is a pretty effective commercial, mainly because of the abusive stepfather aura that Schmidt emits.[youtube KEaQQMex_G0]PRO: Schmidt went on the win the National League MVP that year, presumably without cocaine. The man put his money where his stache is.CON: Apart from the public awareness, this PSA can also be seen as a jab toward the 1986 NY Mets, who were not only a cocaine-fueled superpower, but also division rivals of the 2nd place Phillies. I am a big Mets fan, so I don’t take kindly to that.But wait! Not so fast, Schmitty! Here comes a retort from the lovable Gary Carter…[youtube 3cOvz3Jx7oo]Not to be outdone, Carter hits back hard by sending his own anti-drug message… from THE VET! The Phillies old home! While Schmidt’s PSA clearly had better production value, Carter went right for the throat by one-upping the Phillies 3rd baseman in his own backyard. Gary might as well have fucked his mom.Will this cocaine-induced rivalry from 26 years ago emerge in the final week of the season? Will the Phillies pass the struggling Mets and reclaim the good name of Mike Schmidt along with the NL East? You never know in baseball…