*Editor’s Note: The expressed opinions of Mr. X are those of Mr. X alone and do not necessarily reflect those of Mop Up Duty. Mr. X chooses to remain anonymous for the reason that should he be identified, it will compromise his ability to provide Mop Up Duty readers with the most intimate and cutting edge news stories. We at Mop Up Duty sincerely hope you are not offended by the contents of Mr. X’s posts.
What up y’all, your favourite sleuth Mr. X is back with more dirt for you hopeless Jays fans. I saw Callum grasping for straws the other day in his Brett Cecil vs. Tommy Hanson article and wondering why Cecil is floundering. Is he fatigued? Is it the AL East? Does he just suck? Blah blah blah. It is none of those things. It is his fianceé, pictured below:
Wow, she looks pretty good eh? How could that be a problem? Welllll she has put on 35lbs due to eating chicken wings every night at the “Wings Shop” that she serves at. Why so hungry?
The rumours are flying that Cecil got her pregnant and that is why she is packing on the poundage. This was accidental on Cecil’s part but possibly planned by her. Several of his teammates are giving him the gears about this, concerned that she is into Cecil for his high earning potential and will be taking him for all he is worth.
That could explain plays like this
He just has other, more pressing things on his mind.