Why Penny For Rios Fell Through

Why Penny For Rios Fell Through


Note: MR. X Columns are for Entertainment Purposes Only. We can’t control this guy. As with most Page 6 columnists, X gets his daily info from “Undisclosed Sources” 



I’m not one for mincing words so lets get down to it. There has been talk about the Jays trading RF Alex Rios for Dodgers SP Brad Penny. Nevermind the fact it doesn’t make sense to begin with, but I can confirm through my sources that the deal was on the table and that it was Brad Penny himself who thwarted the deal. Why would he kibosh the deal? It had more to do with his gal-pal than anything else.





For those of you who don’t know, Brad Penny’s girlfriend is Alyssa Milano.  I know, I know, call him Helen Keller because he must be a miracle worker.  Anyway,  Brad Penny has a limited no-trade clause and one of those teams includes Toronto. Penny stated to Dodgers GM Ned Coletti that he would invoke it should Coletti try to move him to the T-Dot.  Why? Well, Brad Penny doesn’t have to look too far back in Alyssa’s rear view mirror to see fallen comrades Carl Pavano and Barry Zito.  She goes through more baseball players than Darryl Strawberry goes through lines of cocaine.  It seems there is a certain good looking tall right handed pitcher on the Jays as well as a latino lover boy who between them, wreck more homes than Hurricane Katrina.  Penny doesn’t want to lose his beautiful baby to one of his new teammates and certainly doesn’t want to tell the story of how they touched and went their separate ways.  Penny should be more of a team player, especially playing for the Dodgers. As my boy T-Money says, “Everybody steals from everybody, that’s Hollywood.”


I can tell you one thing, the players he was worried about aren’t these two jokers:


Brian Tallet & Jeremy Accardo


Until next time, this is Mr. X signing off, off the record, on the Q-T and very hush-hush.

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5 replies on “Why Penny For Rios Fell Through”
  1. says: Early

    Yep, I heard this trade was in the works. I figured Pretty Boy Penny wouldn’t want to go. The AL East is looking like its going to be a graveyard for pitchers. This trade, I think would have benefitted both teams. I think Rios has a tremendous amount of upside still and Penny would be a solid starter behind Doc, reuniting with old Marlin AJ and that might draw Dontrelle to sign with the Jays to rekindle the 2003 lineup, anyword on that X?

  2. says: Mr. X

    All I can say about Dontrelle is this: he is a pathetic drunk. He has an affinity for pissing in the street while drunk and prudish Toronto fans wouldn’t take kindly to the likelihood of him watering the Rogers Centre field turf.

  3. says: Kman

    Mr X, who gets the hotter babes, Penny or Rios? I’m sure for some sick reason, this is of importance. Isn’t Rios in some hotel pictures with a couple of honeys?

  4. says: Callum

    Yeah I saw those pics too, the ladies certainly weren’t models. What I want to know is the latest on Biel, can you give us any updates X?

  5. says: Mr. X

    It’s hard to say. Rios doesn’t mind hogging once in a while, but he is also able to pull pretty much whatever he wants. Penny lucked into Milano as far as I know. Other than that I haven’t heard about any of his conquests. When I find out any Biel related info, you will hear it here first.

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