Why Penny For Rios Fell Through
Note: MR. X Columns are for Entertainment Purposes Only. We can’t control this guy. As with most Page 6 columnists, X gets his daily info from “Undisclosed Sources”
I’m not one for mincing words so lets get down to it. There has been talk about the Jays trading RF Alex Rios for Dodgers SP Brad Penny. Nevermind the fact it doesn’t make sense to begin with, but I can confirm through my sources that the deal was on the table and that it was Brad Penny himself who thwarted the deal. Why would he kibosh the deal? It had more to do with his gal-pal than anything else.
For those of you who don’t know, Brad Penny’s girlfriend is Alyssa Milano. I know, I know, call him Helen Keller because he must be a miracle worker. Anyway, Brad Penny has a limited no-trade clause and one of those teams includes Toronto. Penny stated to Dodgers GM Ned Coletti that he would invoke it should Coletti try to move him to the T-Dot. Why? Well, Brad Penny doesn’t have to look too far back in Alyssa’s rear view mirror to see fallen comrades Carl Pavano and Barry Zito. She goes through more baseball players than Darryl Strawberry goes through lines of cocaine. It seems there is a certain good looking tall right handed pitcher on the Jays as well as a latino lover boy who between them, wreck more homes than Hurricane Katrina. Penny doesn’t want to lose his beautiful baby to one of his new teammates and certainly doesn’t want to tell the story of how they touched and went their separate ways. Penny should be more of a team player, especially playing for the Dodgers. As my boy T-Money says, “Everybody steals from everybody, that’s Hollywood.”
I can tell you one thing, the players he was worried about aren’t these two jokers:
Until next time, this is Mr. X signing off, off the record, on the Q-T and very hush-hush.